And now, in the third part in a continuing series, Neil Hughes shares yet another of his most personal conversations had while at his father's 60th birthday party this past weekend...

So I was with my brother, standing there, marveling at this monstrosity of raw power that lay before us, manifested in the form of an electrical chainsaw on a giant twelve foot pole.

Me: What the hell does dad need that thing for?
Patrick: I don't know. How long do you think it'll be till he injures himself with it?

A family friend, who shall remain nameless, walked up and asked us about it.

Family Friend: So, what, do you use that to clean fish?

Yeah. You use it to clean fish. It's a CHAINSAW ON A TWELVE FOOT POLE.

Yes, I clean my fish with a CHAINSAW. FROM TWELVE FEET AWAY.

In fact, I like to prepare my fish for meals before I even finish reeling them in. FROM TWELVE FEET AWAY. WITH A FUCKING CHAINSAW.

It was after all these thoughts ran through my head that I realized the most invaluable gift given to me by God: self-restraint.