Erika Leaves Town and Everything Goes to Sh*t, #44

BOSTON -- The Boston Celtics traded fan-favorite Jiri Welsch Thursday to the Cleveland Cavaliers for a 2007 first round draft pick. The 3rd year swingman was acquired in an October 22, 2003 trade from the Dallas Mavericks. Jiri was averaging 7.5 points and 2.5 rebounds a game, but was increasingly burried on the bench behind the dynamic duo of Tony Allen and Ricky Davis.

GM Danny Ainge explained the reasoning behind trading the player some called "Havliczech":

"Trading a player as talented and good looking as Jiri is always going to be difficult, but you never know who we might pick up in the 2007 draft. Could be someone with a German sounding name without their shirt on or something.

"This move really came down to the fact that we heard that Erika Gubrium had moved to Berkeley, CA and was therefore no longer being subjected to, er, uh I mean was no longer enjoying Celtic basketball. Without Ms. Gooberman watching, we decided there was really no reason to keep Welsch around. I mean have you seen him? All the ladies love him, it makes it much harder for the rest of us to talk to the Breezies."

In response to a two-part question from reporter Blotto Blanken, Ainge replied, "No, we don't have any plans at this time to bring back Brandon Hunter and I don't really know what you're talking about when you said 'when am I going to eat my hat?'. Sorry."

[Note: Jiri started his career with the Golden St. Warriors (left), who play just down the road from Erika. Well actually it's Oakland. And, well, actually he started with Philly, but he was traded on draft day. Whatever, it's closer than Cleveland.]


[And to think Erika thought this guy was cute?!? Someone's Lasik surgery isn't working....]


[From those of us who enjoyed more than just your good looks, Jiri, thanks for the memories.]