Young Couple Topples Historic Peabody Hotel

Downtown icon lies in ruin due to the bedroom acrobatics of a Mississippi couple

By Michael Lollar
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March 19, 2006

Last night, the Peabody Memphis hotel, a legendary landmark of downtown Memphis, collapsed under the strain of an oversexed couple celebrating their first wedding anniversary.

Apparently Heath and Stephanie Coggins, consumed by the fury of their passion, were unaware of the damage they were doing to the 81-year-old hotel.

"The Peabody just wasn't build to withstand that sort of strain," noted Samuel Burress, chief structural engineer for the City of Memphis.

The couple miraculously survived the collapse of the hotel and were rescued this morning through a joint effort between the Memphis Fire Dept., and the Memphis Urban Search and Rescue Team.

"I guess they were saved by the same vice that got them into this mess," smirked Larry A. Godwin, Memphis Director of Police. "If they hadn't been handcuffed to the king-sized bed and to each other, they'd never have survived the fall."

The kinky couple suffered only minor injuries.

Fortunately, the other 873 guests were evacuated when the building first started to shake.

"We thought it was an earthquake," said Floyd Wesley, manager of the newly destroyed Peabody, "and we have an evacuation procedure just for that purpose. We just didn't think we'd ever need to use it."

The couple's amorous encounter created a disturbance measuring a respectable 6.1 on the Richter scale. This was the worst quake to hit Memphis since 1812. "We were lucky it was localized to the hotel," warned Carth Keipenter, visiting professor of geology at the University of Memphis. "Otherwise, a lot of damage would have been done."

According to James Carnathan, region manager of Peabody Hotels, rebuilding will begin immediately.

No charges will be filed by the city or by the hotel, according to the Coggins' lawyer, Joey Langston. "They might have to start asking guests to be a little more careful in their beds, though," chuckled Langston.

Most outraged by the incident is PETA, which has opposed the exploitation of the Peabody Ducks for years. "Now they're all dead," cried PETA spokesperson Abby Lockhart.

The Coggins could not be reached for comment.