Growing Pains
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I just got off the phone with my mother and she wants me to take a trip with my father and her to Europe again this summer. I am just not sure. We have always made these summer trips, just as long as I can remember, but this year, I am really trying to branch out a little and spread my wings. I am not sure if traveling all over Europe with mommy and daddy is the way for me to spend this summer.
Sure I love to go, and it has always been a lot of fun and this year I really do want to go and see my brother who is living over in the UK, but still I have been babied my whole life and really need some time to find myself independent of my family. If I were to go with them I am sure it would be at least 6 weeks, and I really don't want to give up my job. Okay, so it is not the best job in the whole world, waiting tables is not a dream career for me or anything like that, but I could pick up more hours or maybe get a second job and put some money aside for me. I could even maybe pick up a few credits over the summer and maybe find myself. I have made a few friends here now and some I am sure will still be around for the summer.
I have been fortunate to have had a good upbringing and parents who love and support me. It just sometimes makes it difficult for me to find my space in the world. I am still trying to figure out who I am and be able to stand on my own for my own beliefs. I have a lot of thoughts that are independent of my family's thoughts and beliefs, yet somehow when I am around them I feel like a 7 year old all over again. Being independent from them at school has been a great opportunity for me to express myself and for my voice to be heard. I know at some point, when I am stronger, I will be able to spend more time around them, but for right now separation is perhaps the only way to discover who I really am.
I have been seeing someone I am really crazy for, but we are still in what I like to call the honeymoon, getting to know you phase of our relationship, and I think that if things go as planned, perhaps I can take a trip with her somewhere this summer. I would love to go somewhere a little more secluded and romantic, maybe a trip to Bermuda. That is somewhere I have always wanted to go, but have never gotten the chance. I hear that the beaches are incredible, crisp blue water and even some beaches where the sand is pink. Well, if I can work for a good part of the summer, I am sure I can swing it.
Posted by Clinton Wells at 6:15 AM