"The first time
it happened, I was about fourteen and my boyfriend was sixteen. He
saw me hug my brother in the hall at school, but he didn't know it was
my brother because we'd just started dating. He drug me out of school,
behind a store and just beat me up -- literally. He said if anyone
asked me what happened, to tell them I got into a fight with someone; not
to dare tell anyone he hit me." --Eleventh grade girl--
(Gamache, 1991, p.69)
FACTS ABOUT DATING VIOLENCE IN TEENAGERS
Dating Violence among teenagers is more common than people would think. Dating begins in mid adolescence. The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, mentioned by Carver, Joyner and Udry (as cited in Wolfe & Fering, 2000), found that 61% of 15-year-old males and 66% of 15-year-old females reported being in a relationship during the previous 18 month. The Bureau of Justice Statistics 2000 reported that considered by age category, from 1993 to 1998, women ages 16-24 experienced the highest per capita rates of intimate violence, 19.6 per 1000 women.
Levy (1998) affirms that at least one out of every ten teenage couples are involved in an abuse relationship and that the majority of victims are between the ages of 16 and 24. The National Center for Victims of Crime estimates that approximately one out of every three high school and college students has experienced sexual, physical or emotional violence in dating relationships.
Although dating violence is often reciprocal, women are 3 to 4 times more likely to experience emotional or physical injury than are men, according to Sugarman and Hotaling (as cited in Rosen & Bezold, 1996). At the same time, in "Love doesn't have to hurt" (American Psychological Association) it is stated that girls are not the only ones who experience violence, but boys usually experience more psychological abuse and that abuse is also present in same sex relationships.
For more statistics
on teen dating violence visit the National
Center for Victims of Crime,
WHAT IS VIOLENCE?
Violence is "the use or threat of physical force or restraint carried out with the intent of causing pain or injury to another" (Sugarman & Hotaling, 1989, p.4). In "So you hit her again" (Western Institute of Therapeutic Studies, [WITS] )violence is defined as the use of force by one individual to make another person do whatever he or she wants.
WHAT IS DATING VIOLENCE?
Dating
Violence is a repetitive patter of violent acts that produce physical,
sexual or verbal harm to the other member of the couple, that are not married
yet (Levy, 1998). Lavoie (2000) states that it encompasses "any behavior
that is prejudicial to the partner's development or health by compromising
his or her physical, psychological or sexual integrity." Other authors
go far beyond the actual violent act and include the threat of producing
harm in their definition (Thompson, 1986).
WHAT CONSTITUTES A VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP?
A violent relationship is one in which the goal of one of the partner is to obtain control and power over the other one (Pagelow, 1984). This relationship is divided in three phases, as proposed in Walker's Cycle of Violence (WITS). These three phases correspond to before the violent act (Tension Building Phase), during the violent act (Violent and Abuse Phase) and after the violent act (Honeymoon Phase). Once caught up in this cycle, people tend to repeat these phases once and again until one of them find a way to break it, for example, by leaving the relationship (Western Institute of Therapeutic Studies).
The individuals involved fit into one of three profiles, according to Gray and Foshee (1997):
1. Victim only: "individual
sustains violence but does not initiate violence in the dating relationship."
2. Perpetrator only:
"individual initiates violence but does not sustain violence in the dating
relationship."
3. Mutually violent:
"individual both sustains and initiates violence within the dating relationship."
In a study of these profiles conducted by Gray and Foshee (1997), they found that the majority (66%) of students that reported being in a violent relationship identified it as mutual.
WHAT TYPES OF VIOLENCE ARE THERE?
There
are three major types or ways
of impinging harm. Some of them produce visible physical injuries
while others produce emotional or psychological injuries. These types
of violence can vary in severity and frequency. Usually, the most
common way is an increase in frequency and intensity in time (Pagelow,
1984). Additionally, this forms of violence can be present individually
or in combination (Rue, 1998).
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
"Lots of times he told me I deserved
it. most of the time he said that I deserved to be treated that way
because I was such a whore, such a bit and stuff...It made him feel really
powerful. I started feeling really inadequate...I always felt like a nervous
wreck." (Bateman, 1991, p. 75).
Emotional abuse is defined as any act directed toward producing feelings of fear and helplessness in the relationship (Rue, 1998). it includes saying or doing things planned in advanced that will harm the partner. Some examples of emotional abuse are:
PHYSICAL ABUSE
"He 'd hit things, like he'd hit the cabinet
or something...but then you know then it was just real hateful, deceitful,
verbal stuff and then if he'd thrown something or you know he'd just smack
me or hit me" (Lloyd & Emery, 2000).
Physical abuse
is the use of force, not accidental, that causes pain, injuries or
even death in the partner (Rue, 1998). Ways of producing harm are:
SEXUAL ABUSE
A boy comments, "It is not like she was
saying, "No, no,no!" Or if she was struggling and he forced her.. and "let
me go, I wanna go." (Lavoie, 2000).
Sexual abuse
is "any unwanted or coercive erotic or sexual behavior" (Burke, Stets and
Pirog-Good, 1989). In the study conducted by Lavoie (2000)
the students interpreted sexual abuse in a broadly way, including gang
rape, rape, harassment, sexual exploitation, forced sex.
Other behaviors are:
WARNING SIGNS
The aggressors
have a series of typical conducts that much of the time are not perceived
as violent acts by the victim and also by the aggressor. This signs
can be psychological, physical or verbal. Some of these signs are
extreme jealousy, controlling behaviors (what to wear, where to go, what
friends to have). Usually, the aggressor is rapidly involved in the
relationship and is very sensitive, getting easily offended and exaggerating
minimal problems (Trust
Betrayed).
WHO IS AT RISK OF GETTING INVOLVED IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
There are many risk factors or situations that make different individuals vulnerable to getting involved in a violent relationship. According to Rosen and Bezold (1996), risk factors for women as victims are low self-esteem, gender role identity, attitudes toward violence (seeing violence as indication of love).
The aggressor,
according to Pagelow (1984), usually is a male. He may have
been raised in a patriarchal family, experienced physical or verbal abuse
in childhood (Levy, 1998), had authority personality, shown social violence,
among others. In a study conducted by Foo and Margolin (1995)
in which the variables that contribute to dating aggression were studied,
it was found that "exposure to interparental aggression plus the product
between exposure and humiliation contribute to the prediction of males'
dating aggression but exposure does not play a role in females' dating
aggression." Another study conducted by Smith and Williams (1992)
to determine if there was a relationship between domestic violence and
dating violence found that among high school students there was a
higher incidence of dating violence in teenagers that came from an abusive
home.
CHARACTERISTICS OF THE AGGRESSOR AND VICTIM
The aggressor and victim have some things in common. Both have low self-esteem and a negative self-image. Both experience fear and shame. They are extremely dependent upon each other, they both think that they cannot live without each other. Additionally, they both tend to deny and minimize the severity of the violence and also to use rationalization when confronting their behavior. Finally, impulsivity is shown in both partners. On the one hand, the aggressor has low tolerance to frustration and acts without considering the consequences. On the other hand, the victim learns to act on self-defense without thinking in the consequences (Okun, 1986).
EFFECTS OF DATING VIOLENCE
There are two basic types of consequences in an abusive relationship: psychological and physical (Trust betrayed).
1. Psychological
Effects: the psychological damage can
vary in severity, producing certain symptoms that may or may not be criteria
for a psychological diagnostic, like depression or anxiety (Levy, 1998).
People that have worked with this population have concluded that in order to stop violence in relationships the most important approach is prevention through educational programs that help them identify and define this problem as "not normal". Nowadays, there are many programs given in schools, that include conferences, lectures, group projects, theater, among others. Rosen and Bezold (1996) state that "age-appropriate and content-appropriate skill building and attitude-changing abuse prevention programs need to be developed and implemented for a variety of audiences, including young men and parents (p. 534)."
In a prevention program it is essential to involve all the school personnel and the parents because this problem is not limited to the school setting. A research conducted by Krajewski, Rybarik, Dosch and Gilmore (1996) evaluated the effects of a violence prevention curriculum on the knowledge and attitudes of seventh grade health education students. They used the "Skills for Violence-Free Relationships" program with 239 seventh grade students and evaluated the outcomes which showed a significant change among females.
A program implemented in the Cambridge Rindge and Latin High School in Massachusetts created the "Teen Dating Violence Awareness Week." In this program different workshops were given to teachers, students and parents. The topics included are What is abuse? Who has the power? What societal messages do we get for how men and women are supposed to act in relationships? What does an abusive relationship look like? What can we do about preventing abuse? An evaluation of the outcomes showed that there was an increase in the recognition and rejection of the early warning signs of violence (Levy, 1998).
Other prevention programs that have proved to be beneficial for teenagers are "Stop Dating Violence" created by the Fredericton Sexual Assault Crisis Center and the "Southside Teens about Respect (STAR)" from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. In STAR, the major objectives are:
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WHEN THE TEENAGER IS ALREADY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
There are many
types of programs designed to help batterers. Gandolf (1989) classifies
the programs in four types:
When working with victims in a counseling setting, Lloyd and Emery (2000) highlight 6 considerations that should be always present.
Besides working
in schools, many programs for battered women and men are conducted in many
states and they provide various resources like hotlines and workshops.
Some of these are Melrose Alliance Against
Violence in Massachusetts, Gay Men's
Domestic Violence Project, Center
for Domestic Violence Prevention in California, among others.
Additionally,
there are many resources on internet for teenagers about Dating Violence.
Some of them are: the Liz
Claiborne Foundation which contains information in a creative and fun
structure. For more ideas about educational programs visit the National
Crime Prevention Council site.
CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
Dating abuse is one of the many forms that violence is present in the lives of high school students. While in some areas of the country different programs have been created to prevent it, it is still a neglected phenomenon in the country. Thousands of high school girls and boys are suffering from different types of aggression, from minor insults to extreme physical injuries. The consequential effects of this maltreatment produces visible and invisible scars that may accompany the victim for a long time, if not forever. This mandates for prevention and remedial interventions to both, victims and aggressors.
Addressing this
problem at schools with the help of all personnel and parents is essential.
Themes like violence cannot be neglected anymore because each year it harms
our children. Besides the prevention programs, I would recommend
to incorporate into the Development Guidance program at schools the discussion
of healthy relationships among all levels of middle and high school, especially
when these relationships are beginning to appear. Using the Preventive
Approach with this population is one way, but not all schools have the
capability of creating a prevention program for every possible problem
that arise in the school setting. Therefore, by incorporating
this problem as part of the normal development units, it will reach more
people at an early stage.
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