Many women in Mexico receive different types of formal education. However, from a very young age women in the Yucatan are also informally socialized into what it means to be a woman in this society. Young girls begin to learn about how to be mothers, wives, and caretakers by watching and working alongside their mothers. As observed in the picture, this family is cooking Puerco Pibil.

To learn more about this informal learning I interviewed and observed a mother and daughter in a middle class Meridian family. Lupe and Pedro are the parents of four children, three daughters and one son. Two daughters have married and moved out. One daughter, Jenifer (21 years old) remains along with the son Pedro Pablo (31).

Lupe explained that in her house the women are expected to handle the cooking and the serving of food. In the four weeks that I have lived with the family, I have found this to always be the case. Lupe and Jenifer set the table, cook the food, serve the food, clean the table and wash the dishes. Lupe told me that her daughters began learning to serve meals as soon as they were old enough to understand commands and walk. Cooking food comes a bit later (the young women must be able to reach the stove) but the female children begin observing the mother cook the "almuerzo" (generous mid-day meal) from very young. The women spend at least two hours a day together in the kitchen, preparing the food, and the young female children begin this tradition by scurrying around the mother’s feet while she does the cooking. Thus, even from a young age the female child learns about the appliances in the kitchen and is exposed to the sites and sounds of the place where she may spend much time in the future.

Sopa de Lima (Chicken & Lime Soup) Ingredients: 2 limes 6 tortillas 1 chicken breast 6 chicken livers 1 red onion, finely chopped 6-8 garlic cloves 6 lime slices chopped cilantro Cooking oil a pinch of salt Instructions: Quickly sautee garlic until brown in oil. Slice torlillas into strips and fry them until golden; place them on paper towels to absorb oil. In a large pot, add 7 cups of water, add the salt, chicken livers, garlic and chicken breast. When the chicken is cooked, shred the chicken breast and chop the liver into small pieces. Strain the broth through collander. Add the shredded chicken and chopped livers to the broth, and the juice of two limes. Place in a large platter the chopped onion, cilantro, the lime slices and the tortilla strips, to be added as one prefers. Serve the soup in a deep bowl.

Jenifer and Lupe cook side by side. If one or the other cannot be there to prepare the "almuerzo" or the "cena" (evening meal), then the other handles it alone. However, they ususally both work together to prepare the meal. While in the kitchen the two discuss family matters, what has been done that day, and what needs to be done the next day. In a sense the time spent in the kitchen is as much a family planning session as it is for the utility of cooking the family meal. The women discuss issues that are important for the good of the family (finances, appointments, necessities) while the men wait patiently at the table for the food. In contrast, Pedro and Pedro Pablo engage in light conversation about the weather, or engage in a television program while the women are in the kitchen.

Lupe tells me that her daughters were not ¨taught¨ to cook, but rather they learned to cook by working along side her. Recipe cards are not used, the daughters simply know proportions and cooking times from working alongside the mother who was taught the same way by her own mother. From my observations the men of the house never cook, however Jenifer tells me that this trend is changing slowly and that younger men learn to cook and serve a bit more than their fathers did. The difference between generations was displayed one night when Jenifer´s boyfriend, Gerardo, came to visit one night and together they cooked hot dogs, and set the table for themselves.

I asked both Jenifer and Lupe if they thought that the role of women in families is to be caretakers. Jenifer explained that the role of a wife and mother is revered in Mexico. Much like the love for the Virgin Mary (as seen in paintings and Icons in many homes, restaurants, etc.), the people of Mexico see the women as the life givers, and the caretakers. She admits that people from other countries may view the role of women as antiquated. However she like many women in Mexico are socialized to accept the concept of "Marianismo," or the Spanish concept which ascribes moral superiority to women for being faithful and pure" (Eber 16). Jenifer sees things such as "union libre" (unmarried cohabitation) and teen pregnancy as symptoms of disrespect for women. This contrasts the tendency of "Latin American women who follow a model of sanctity by emulating the Virgin" (Eber 40). She explained that she and her family attend church every week. In effect, there are very strict rules of conduct for herself and her boyfriend. When he visits he sits with her in the front room, in plain view of her father. She is not allowed to travel out of town with him until she is married. The morality she has was acquired from her Catholic upbringing, but also from the rules set forth by her parents, and the examples of her older sisters.

Jenifer told me that though she has been dating her boyfriend for five years, she does not plan to marry him for quite some time. She explained that they needed to be in a position of making more money. She (like her sisters once did) is finishing a degree in graphic design. She feels that marriage can only follow once she has established herself in a career. I asked Lupe if she did the same and she laughed. On the contrary, she explained, she and her friends all married much younger, as careers were not part of their future plans, rather simply raising a family and being a wife.

Economic stress has changed Lupe´s path as she left her home for the first time recently to help the family. Likewise, Jenifer and her sisters anticipate that two incomes may be necessary. At the same time they have learned from the example of the their mother how to play many roles: wife, mother, cook, caretaker, and wage earner.