1. Thou shalt have no white light before thee, behind thee, or to the side of thee whilst sharing the night sky with thy fellow stargazers.

2. Thou shalt not love thy telescope more than thy spouse or thy children; as much as, maybe, but not more.

3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's telescope, unless it exceeds in aperture or electronics twice that of thy wildest dreams.

4. Thou shalt not read "Astronomy" or "Sky & Telescope" on company time, for thine employer makes it possible to continue thine astronomical hobby.

5. Thou shalt have at least two telescopes so as to keep thy spouse interested when the same accompanies thee under the night sky or on eclipse expeditions to strange lands where exotic wild animals doth roam freely.

6. Thou shalt not allow either thy sons or thy daughters to get married during the Holy Days of Starfest.

7. Thou shalt not reveal to thy spouse the true cost of thy telescope collection; only the individual components and that shall be done with great infrequency.

8. Thou shalt not buy thy spouse any lenses, filters, dew shields, maps, charts, or any other necessities for Christmas, anniversaries, or birthdays unless thy spouse needs them for their own telescope.

9. Thou shalt not deceive thy spouse into thinking that ye are taking them for a romantic Saturday night drive when indeed thou art heading for a dark sky site.

10. Thou shalt not store thy telescope in thy living room, dining room, or bedroom, lest thou be sleeping with it full time.

One day, all of the world's famous physicists decided to get together for a party (ok, there were some non-physicists too who crashed the party). Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and able to observe some of the guests...

* Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
* Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
* Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
* Cauchy, being the mathematician, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
* Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
* Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
* Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
* Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere's opinions on current events.
* Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
* Volta thought the social had a lot of potential.
* Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
* Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
* Feynman got from the door to the buffet table by taking every possible path
* The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
* van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
* Wien radiated a colourful personality.
* Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
* de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
* Hollerith liked the hole idea.
* Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
* Everyone was attracted to Tesla's magnetic personality.
* Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
* Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
* Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
* Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
* Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
* Oppenheimer got bombed.
* The microwave started radiating in the background when Penzias and Wilson showed up.
* After one bite Chandrasekhar reached his limit.
* Gamow left the party early with a big bang while Hoyle stayed late in a steady state.
* For Schrodinger this was more a wave function rather than a social function.
* Skorucak wanted to put everybody on his web site.
* Erdos was sad no epsilons were invited.
* Born thought the probability of enjoying himself was pretty high.
* Instead of coming through the front door Josephson tunnelled through.
* Groucho refused to attend any party that would invite him in the first place.
* Niccolò Tartaglia kept stammering throughout the evening.
* Pauling wanted to bond with everyone.
* Keynes was keen to question the marginal utility of this party.
* Shakespeare could not decide whether to be or not to be at the party.
* John Forbes Nash wanted to play a n-person zero sum game.
* Pavlov brought his dog; which promptly chased after Schrodinger's cat.
* Zeno of Elea came with two friends - Achilles and the tortoise.
* Bill Gates came to install windows.
* Bertrand Russell kept wondering if the cook only cooks for the guests, who cooks for the cook?
* Witten bought a present all tied up with superstrings.
* The food was beautifully laid out by Mendeleyev on the periodic table.
* Riemann hypothesised about who would arrive next; to which Newton retorted, ' hypotheses non fingo.'
* Chadwick was handing out neutrons free of charge.
* Everyone was amazed at Bell's inequality.
* Watson and Crick danced the Double Helix.
* While Fermat sang, 'Save the Last Theorem for me.'
* Maxwell's demon argued with Dawkin's friend, the selfish Gene.
* Russell and Whitehead insisted on checking the bill for completeness and consistency. Godel said it was incomplete and it can never be proved otherwise.
* Epimenides the Cretan announced that only non-Cretans spoke the truth.
* Rontgen saw through everybody.
* Descartes cogitated, 'I think I am drunk. Therefore I am at the party.'