Fernanda Foertter
Jan 2006
Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle Humor
Wednesday 01.25.2006 Filed in: Humor
From Wikipedia:
The unusual nature of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, and its distinctive name, has made it the source of several jokes. It is said that a popular item of graffiti at the physics department of university campuses is the slogan "Heisenberg may have been here."
In another uncertainty principle joke, a quantum physicist is stopped on the highway by a police officer who asks "Do you know how fast you were going, sir?", to which the physicist responds, "No, but I know exactly where I am!".
An episode of the popular Matt Groening cartoon "Futurama" features the crew of the Planet Express at the horse races. Professor Farnsworth exclaims angrily after his favored horse loses in a "quantum finish" "No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!".
Another example is "How many Physicists does it take to change a light bulb?" "Only one, and all the Physicist has to do is observe the light bulb and they change it."
Finally, there is the joke of the biggest flop since the Edsel... The Heisenburgmobile. The problem was that when you look at the speedometer you got lost.
The unusual nature of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, and its distinctive name, has made it the source of several jokes. It is said that a popular item of graffiti at the physics department of university campuses is the slogan "Heisenberg may have been here."
In another uncertainty principle joke, a quantum physicist is stopped on the highway by a police officer who asks "Do you know how fast you were going, sir?", to which the physicist responds, "No, but I know exactly where I am!".
An episode of the popular Matt Groening cartoon "Futurama" features the crew of the Planet Express at the horse races. Professor Farnsworth exclaims angrily after his favored horse loses in a "quantum finish" "No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!".
Another example is "How many Physicists does it take to change a light bulb?" "Only one, and all the Physicist has to do is observe the light bulb and they change it."
Finally, there is the joke of the biggest flop since the Edsel... The Heisenburgmobile. The problem was that when you look at the speedometer you got lost.
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Yo Momma Insults for Physicists
Tuesday 01.17.2006 Filed in: Humor
Yo Momma Insults for Physicists By David Olsen
11. Yo momma's so fat the only curve on her is the curve of space-time that
occurs around any super massive object.
10. Yo momma's so ugly Schroedinger's cat was all-dead just knowing she
existed.
9. Yo momma's so fat she accounts for the missing 90% of matter in the
universe.
8. Yo momma's so fat her first diet ever is going to be called "The Big
Crunch".
7. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks Galileo is Spanish for 'girlfriend'.
6. Yo momma's so fat she contradicts a heliocentric solar system.
5. Yo momma's so stupid all of her family calls her a special relativity.
4. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks "Haw" is a middle name, and Steven
Hawking wrote "The Stand".
3. Yo momma's so ugly, stuff running from her accounts for the acceleration
of the expansion of the universe.
2. Yo momma's so fat her waistline is called the event horizon.
1. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks this line is false.
11. Yo momma's so fat the only curve on her is the curve of space-time that
occurs around any super massive object.
10. Yo momma's so ugly Schroedinger's cat was all-dead just knowing she
existed.
9. Yo momma's so fat she accounts for the missing 90% of matter in the
universe.
8. Yo momma's so fat her first diet ever is going to be called "The Big
Crunch".
7. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks Galileo is Spanish for 'girlfriend'.
6. Yo momma's so fat she contradicts a heliocentric solar system.
5. Yo momma's so stupid all of her family calls her a special relativity.
4. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks "Haw" is a middle name, and Steven
Hawking wrote "The Stand".
3. Yo momma's so ugly, stuff running from her accounts for the acceleration
of the expansion of the universe.
2. Yo momma's so fat her waistline is called the event horizon.
1. Yo momma's so stupid she thinks this line is false.