My Journal: Grey's Anatomy Season 5
Image created by DeviantArt user ~thekill92
Image created by DeviantArt user ~thekill92
Life is unpredictable for everyone. No degree, socioeconomic status or paycheck grants a person a magical crystal ball. People can arbitrarily guess at future occurrences or utilize personal knowledge and experience to hypothesize about forthcoming events, but they will never know with absolution: life is notorious for throwing a mean curveball and catching man off of his guard. Humans are simply incapable of preparing for every possibility the future has to offer and with the chance that lightning could strike at any moment, nothing is a guarantee. A recession could hit; a family member could grow ill; a close relative could abruptly run into great financial fortune. Any of these things, in addition to one hundred billion others, could happen at any point in time without warning. So when one encounters a situation of this nature-- a circumstance that no one ever saw coming-- what's a person to do? How does one react to an occurrence that has completely blindsided them? When disaster strikes in the most unlikely form-- when a beautiful, lively young surgeon, friend, colleague and girlfriend discovers she has stage four melanoma that has spread to her brain-- what the hell is the protocol?
Izzie's diagnosis throws everyone for a loop within this selection of episodes. Additionally, a monumental decision on Meredith and Derek's part changes Grey's Anatomy for the rest of the show's entire run. Alex and Izzie's relationship intertwines with Meredith and Shepherd's when the second couple gives Izzie the reigns on the wedding planning front.
As Izzie's cancer progresses, Alex struggles to juggle the standard protocol of being a surgeon and coping with the illness of his girlfriend. Izzie suffers in silence, doing everything in her power to hide the true physical pain she is enduring. She hides behind Derek and Meredith's wedding plans and pranks about her sickness, but the severity of Izzie's condition eventually grows too great to be concealed. This is the time when Alex's true attachment to Izzie is most prevalently displayed: she is not just his girlfriend, but also his future, his source of happiness, his everything. The few moments in which Alex does break under pressure, in my opinion, are little more than displays of his fear for his life with Izzie. Alex depends on Izzie as a lasting source of pleasure, stability, comfort and companionship, but her failing health threatens the future he has subconsciously planned.
The future of Meredith and Derek's relationship, on the other hand, is anything but unintentionally planned. Izzie has designed a dream wedding for them, but it is truly her fantasy. Meredith and Derek give the big day to Alex and Izzie partly because a huge, traditional wedding would not suit their relationship. Meredith and Derek aren’t the average couple: their love has a strange beauty and a 'standard', tradition-based ceremony would insult the exquisite bizarreness that defines them. For that reason, their wedding-- a contract written on a post-it note in the hospital locker room-- is extremely appropriate. It exemplifies the unconventional manner in which they regularly express the depth of their feelings for one another. On the same token, Alex and Izzie's fantastic wedding reflects the romantic beauty of Karev's selflessness in his relationship with Izzie. His devotion is extremely apparent in every step of Izzie's recovery, but it obviously extends beyond the immediate circumstances: Alex's true feelings for his wife run deep and have the potential to keep him unbelievably happy with her for the rest of their lives.
The gift of Izzie's dream wedding, her sudden diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, Meredith and Derek's informal, abrupt post-it wedding-- all of these things happened in a single moment without warning. The characters were unprepared and could have reacted in any number of ways, but they handled every situation in the best possible way and came out with ideal happy endings.
In marriages, partners vow to stick by each other's sides through everything: through good times, bad times, sickness and in health-- the whole nine yards. Prior to making this commitment, however, couples do not have a concrete vow to give them peace of mind. In a standard romantic relationship between unwedded people, the risk of being left usually runs much higher. A boyfriend and girlfriend may love one another, but they have made no lifetime commitment. Their relationship is not set in stone. At any moment in time, one of them could pick up and leave. Without any divorce, children or shared investments, on paper, the relationship practically never happened. Accordingly, if an unwedded couple does happen to encounter bad times or sickness, the next step of their relationship is undetermined to a greater extent than it would be for a married couple. In this case, one would just have to hope that their spouse would take on some of the roles of a married partner and continue to be a source of comfort, support and love.
In this selection of episodes, both Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd, along with Izzie Stevens and Alex Karev, stumble upon bad times in their lives that implicitly affect their relationships. Shepherd, frustrated with his performance as a surgeon, digs himself into a hole and refuses to come out-- initially, he won't even surface for Meredith. Derek shuts everyone out, but his girlfriend would normally be an exception. Although this low is pretty monumental for the world-class surgeon, the reason I theorize he blocks out Meredith is because he does not view her as the source of stability he needs. Shepherd had been carrying around a ring for Meredith, just waiting for the right moment to ask her the question of a lifetime. The unsettling thought that prevented him from proposing was, in my opinion, the same thought responsible for him cutting Meredith out during his breakdown. Once they get past this, however, Derek's fitting romantic gesture leads to the couple's mutual admittance that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. The reality is that they need each other: flings may have come and gone, but at the heart of it all was the two of them. Meredith and Derek balance each other. From the very first episode of season one, Grey and Shepherd were destined to be together. By cementing this bond through a charmingly unconventional proposal in an elevator, the couple demonstrates how perfectly matched their atypical personalities are for one another.
While the problems in Meredith and Derek's relationship are resolved, however, the kinks in Alex and Izzie's relationship are not even visible to half of the involved parties: as Izzie searches for her true medical diagnosis, she simultaneously shuts out Karev in ways he can't even perceive. In addition to keeping him in the dark as she searches for her diagnosis, Izzie goes on to hide the verdict from him once she finds out that she has stage four metastatic melanoma. While Stevens suffers in silence about her condition, Alex shines as a surgeon and expresses his true devotion to her: Karev wants to share all of his happiness with the girl he loves, but she doesn't even share life changing information with him. Keeping to herself is obviously a coping mechanism for Izzie, but watching Alex's sweet obliviousness really causes the audience to sympathize with the tough surgeon who was softened by love. Once Karev finds out the reality of Izzie's health, his deepest emotions surface. His expression of love for Izzie is more apparent, compassionate and honest than that of any of the most emotional characters on the show. Although Alex has a tough exterior, his relationship with Izzie brings out his true sensitivity. He is hurt, not only because his love is in poor health and concealed her problems, but also because he did not make the medical connection, himself. Karev's emotions rage as he blames himself for ignoring the signals and not catching the cancer earlier.
The obstacles that these central couples face are of very different natures, but are both ensured to be endured through together by the vows of marriage. Since neither of the couples is wedded, their fate is undetermined and could easily leave one of the spouses to deal with their unfortunate circumstances alone. In accordance with the trend followed by these past few episodes, however, marriage seems to lie in the near future...
After age seven, it becomes mildly socially unacceptable to play house. Once you reach your mid-twenties, it is downright deplorable to partake in such a childish activity. Anyone past age twenty-two with an interest in this form of amusement probably suffers from severe emotional issues that require consultation with a doctor.
What is it, though, that deems 'playing house' so abnormal and inappropriate? The desire to take on a role that conflicts with the ones we play everyday? The need for some sort of diversion or escape? The stigma of naivete that so often brands notions of fantasy, dream, and wonder? The foolishness of wanting to pretend, for just a little while, before a return to the bleakness of reality? After all, desires of this nature don't exit the stream of conscious upon the first stroke of puberty-- they are somewhat universal human longings that show no discrimination in regard to age.
Just because the surgeons of Grey's Anatomy are old enough to have gone through the eight required years of undergraduate and medical school and served multiple years as residents, does not make any of them exceptions to this standard human desire. They, too, sometimes feel the urge to pretend; to submit to ideas of fantasy and to play along with a script lacking any touch of actuality. Izzie and Meredith each succumb to these yearnings in their own ways and depart from the issues that define their own realities.
In spite of her exclusive romantic relationship with Alex Karev, Izzie quite literally flirts with fantasy as she develops her sexual relationship with Denny-- her deceased former fiancee. This figment of Izzie's imagination inhibits the forward progression that Alex envisions for the two of them as a couple: as Karev throws his tough exterior out the window for the woman he loves, she fantasizes about another man. Upon confessing these delusions to Alex, Izzie is met with compassion and acceptance from her boyfriend. I found myself pitying Karev and hoping that Izzie's visions of Denny would disappear... but they don't. Denny is tangible to her. She can see, hear, and touch him once again, which brings surreal elements of joy back into her life. She thought she lost him, but here he is right in front of her. Despite the success of her relationship with Alex, Izzie can't help but giving into the delirium of being reunited with her former fiancee.
When she fights the fantasy, however, she finds that Denny's presence is invincible: he will not leave her. What could this possibly mean? When she wanted nothing more but for him to be around her, he left... And now that she has finally made some real progress in moving past Denny's death, he is all too present. Izzie eventually realizes that her hallucination is not merely the result of grief or unmet sexual desires: it is the byproduct of an illness.
Meredith, on the other hand, does not indulge in such fantasy. She is too in touch with the bleakness of reality to succumb to desires of that nature. She does, however, attempt to conceal the darkness that defines her charm by pretending to have a bubbly disposition for Derek's mother. Meredith betrays her true self and takes on a role completely contradictory to her authentic personality. She feels that she is not likable or pleasant enough to be accepted for her true colors, so she puts on a show-- a show that is somewhat transparent and can only go on for so long.
When Meredith eventually reveals her darkness to Derek's mother, her authentic disposition turns out to be much better received than she could have ever expected. Mrs. Shepherd embraces Meredith's dark defining features and tells Derek that they complement each other very well. This illustrates the progression Meredith and Derek are making as a couple: they seem to be headed in a positive direction at a very healthy pace.
Meredith attempts to confront her "dark and twisty" nature, but finds herself completely bewildered: not even she can understand herself. She turns to Derek for comfort and is met with the compassion she would never admit she desires.
Once Meredith stops pretending and Izzie stops fantasizing, the surgeons get back in touch with reality. Meredith's authentic personal life is more fulfilling than her role-playing game, but Izzie must face true bleakness when she awakes from her delusions of fantasy. Regardless of the desires that plague Meredith, Izzie and others of all ages-- whether they be to find a diversion from the bleakness of actuality or to become someone else for a short while-- people can only stay lost in fantasy for so long. Reality lurks just around the corner...
If this blog entry were an episode of Grey's Anatomy, it would probably begin as most episodes do with Meredith's seemingly omniscient voiceover. In this "episode" she would likely say something along the lines of:
The drive to succeed, to be number one, to be recognized-- this is a trait intrinsic to most surgeons. We beat illnesses that should kill patients, we strive to defeat the impossible, and we toil to assist the triumph of life over death... and when all is said and done-- after we have been rewarded with an exciting surgery or a success in the O.R., what makes us any more noble than the next person? Is what we fight for all that different from the struggle of the 'everyman'? From day to day, we seek little more than recognition, personal achievement, and something to be remembered by... Where is the nobility in that?
This brief speech appropriately sets the stage for the Chief's preoccupation with the reputation of his hospital and, implicitly, himself. Formerly recognized as one of the top hospitals, Seattle Grace dropped to a number twelve ranking. The Chief fixates on this blemished reputation for several episodes, obsessing over ways to improve the hospital's teaching techniques and reclaim one of the top spots. After all of the years he whole-heartedly threw himself into running Seattle Grace, his dedication, work, and surgeons seemed to have failed him. New rules are effectually implemented that ban favoritism and personal relationships taking priority in the workplace. In an average hospital, this would surely be assumed, but in a dramatic television series largely based on the personal interconnections between characters, the surgeons have more difficulty following such simple instruction.
Even the Chief brings his personal life to the hospital when he reveals that his strange relationship with Meredith Grey results from the guilt he feels each time he looks at her. As a sign of his past personal failures, Meredith distracts the Chief and puts him in an uncomfortable position. The task he faces in serving as Meredith's superior conflicts with the unwavering shame that haunts him; by having an affair with her mother and standing by as defenseless, young Meredith was neglected, the Chief opened the door to a future of remorse and guilt. Meredith struggles with complex emotional issues herself and accepts the Chief's reasoning.
Her relationship with Derek undergoes drastic changes from season four; it moves in a serious direction at a very rapid pace. Meredith is so focused on reaching her 'happy ending' that she forgets who she is for a little while: Meredith is not the housewife who lives behind a white picket fence, taking care of domestic responsibilities all day. Neither is she the giggly little girlfriend who wants to talk about 'our future together' all day. Meredith is complicated, guarded, "dark and twisty" and going through a process. By committing to a serious relationship with Derek, she is certainly moving in a new direction. She needs, however, this progression made at a slower pace. Derek understands Meredith on many of her most guarded levels and accepts this; he loves her and is willing to do whatever it takes to work out their relationship this time.
Caught in the middle of Meredith and Derek's initial drama are Izzie and Alex, Meredith's roommates. In the midst of Derek's request to live alone with Meredith, Izzie ponders her sense of isolation and singleness. Throughout the first several episodes, however, this changes as her relationship with Alex evolves. Much of the hostility they share actually roots back to their romantic feelings for one another and their love is rekindled. Although Meredith and McDreamy (Derek) are the show's trademark notorious couple, I have always found Izzie and Alex's relationship the most hypnotizing; Alex Karev's rough edges give him a charming appeal and the side he shows around Izzie makes him even more amiable. I find the upbeat Izzie Stevens' relationship with Karev to be relatable and emotionally engaging.
In opposition to these longstanding, revived relationships stands the newly developing romance between Callie Torres and Erika Hahn. Both this relationship and the idea of homosexuality are new to them and they find the beginning of their relationship to be a struggle; they encounter difficulty understanding the dynamic of their friendship and struggle with the label of their identity/ the title of their relationship. Despite initial intricacy, however, they embark on this exploratory journey together and discover new things about themselves. Erika, for instance, sees that she has been blind to her true sexual orientation her entire life. Callie, however, finds little difference between her romantic feelings for men and women. This confusing declaration leads Erika to question Callie's ability to make definitive judgments and, in combination with a disagreement over reporting the hospital for an illegal action, leads to a momentous fight.
Simultaneously, another new relationship sparks between an unlikely pair: Christina Yang, the hard surgeon who hasn't let anyone new in since she was left at the altar, finds herself hypnotized by military doctor, Owen Hunt. He displays ingenuity and medical genius-- defining traits valued by Christina. Hunt first appears to be some sort variation of Yang's knight in shining armor. Once he begins working at Seattle Grace, however, he shows another dimension of his personality-- the scarred new outlook of a returning veteran. As Owen struggles to cope with his new life out of Iraq, he finds it difficult to express his feelings appropriately in the context of the hospital and his relationship with Christina. The guarded Yang begins to open herself to the possibilities of letting Owen in, despite how damaged she was by her former fiancee's betrayal. The forming relationship both excites, but more prevalently, frightens the surgeons. This company, however, may be just what they need to move forward in their lives.
In accordance with the theme of progressing, George O'Malley asks the Chief for a second chance at taking his intern test. This request is granted and George eventually discovers that he passed. Preoccupied with his own desires and victories, he overlooks the obvious signs that Lexie has romantic feelings for him. "Little Grey" (as she is often called) desperately strives for some sort of reciprocation, but her passive nature leads her to go unnoticed by George on a romantic level. Lexie's innocence, submissiveness and kind-hearted disposition cause her to be charming and likable; effectually, I found myself rooting for George to notice Little Grey's interest. With O'Malley's focus on his new position as a resident, her efforts unfortunately came to no avail; the plot evolves without the development of a romantic relationship between George and Lexie.
Every inner working of the storyline relates back to the struggle for recognition and accomplishment: the Chief struggles to be number one; Meredith strives to pigeonhole her relationship with Derek into a formulaic fairy tale; Izzie battles for Alex's acknowledgment of his true feelings; Callie and Erika strain to classify their relationship under a title; Christina struggles to understand Hunt's personality and be recognized by all dimensions of it at once; Lexie strives for George to notice her feelings, while O'Malley seeks recognition as a resident. This unending quest for recognition and accomplishment defines the character's careers as surgeons and implicitly delineates the intimate thoughts and actions of their personal lives.
