We all have things we consider perfect and awesome in every way. Things that couldn't be made any better, no matter what is changed about them.

I'm here to prove that those things can in fact be made better, with one simple thing.


It is quickly realized that anything -- yes, anything -- can be made better with a top hat.

I have edited the following images as notable examples of said theory.


A Balloon Animal

A Litter of Kittens

A Depressed Puppy


Elf Slave Master Santa Claus

Yeah, you just sit there and drink your Coca Cola while your
slave elves do
all the work, old man. At least he's lookin' fresh.


A Snail

It may take a week to get where he's going, but once he gets there, he'll be the
cleanest snail in the place.


A Bacon Milkshake


A Sad Gummy Bear



You never thought Nutella could be any more perfect, did you?


Earthworm Jim

Fighting enemies... in style.


The Thing

The Hulk clued him in on proper crime fighting dress.


A Family of Bears


The Mona Lisa


Evergreen Trees

An acceptable Christmas tree topper replacement.


The Pope


A Cinnamon Roll

A Stack of Books



Good luck trying to glance past those at your company's Holiday party.

A Mouse Cursor

The Jailed Mystery Gang

This is where meddling gets you. It was nice of the officers to let them stay fresh.

Master Yoda

Any Grant Wood Painting

Spilt Milk

Gentlemen don't cry over it.

A Roast Chicken
<br /><br /><br /><br />

A Giant Squid

Even deep-dwelling creatures need to look clean.

A Planet

Go big or go home.

An AK-47

A Miniature Quiche


A Spork

A Narwhal


A Pile of Hair


The Loch Ness Monster Hoax

Now that's a little more believable.


A Pooping Dog

People will be lining up to clean up after such clean canines.


Pencil Shavings


The Ninja Turtles

Why the shell not?


Pushy Polar Bears



The hats tone down their hopelessness.

Chewed Gum


A Dirty Rag

Who knew dirty could ever look so clean?


Honey Boo Boo

The hat is the only good part of her now.

Batman and Robin

Holy crackalackin hats, Batman!



A My Little Pony

Adding a top hat might increase the population of 'bronies'.



Giant Monsters

A fight between such fresh monsters would be well worth the sacrificed city.


A Gender Ambiguous Ninja

Seriously, I have no idea if this is a man or a woman.


A Hideous CGI Monster

He's... slightly less disgusting...?


Mr. T's Frohawk

"I pity da fool who don't accessorize!"



A Butt

PSY is impressed by how much the hat improves dat ass.

A Puffy Cheeto


Pouty Darth Vader


A Jar of Almonds

The snack of true gents.

A Large Rock

Now that is one clean-cut rock.

Creepy Tarzan

The top hat makes this perversion a little more acceptable.

King Leonidas

The real reason the Persians attacked: they were jealous of the King's sense of style.

Slender Man

Now your death will be at the hands of a completely fancified man.



He's already a pretty clean dragon, but the top hat enhances it.


An Awkward Boner

It happens to everyone. Show yours off with a top hat!


"Are you not entertained?!"


A Top Hat

You can never have too many.

So now -- I challenge you to think of one -- just one -- thing, that wouldn't be made better with the addition of a top hat.

Good luck. You'll need it!

--Alyssa Hendricks